Why Are People So Dumb?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)
“Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
“Product will be hot after heating.”
(and you thought?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(I’m taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor
“Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts
“Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child’s Superman costume
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Who Runs The Human Body?
In the human body, which organ is in charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
The brain said: “I should be in charge, because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”
“I should be in charge,” said the heart, “because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you’d all waste away.”
“I should be in charge,” said the stomach, “because I process food and give all of you energy.”
“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “because I’m responsible for waste removal.”
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don’t have to be smart or important to be in charge…